Field of Science

Pages

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 7: Yearbook

With the year drawing to a close, Inkfish's class officers have chosen superlatives to bestow on the posts of 2012. Please note that a prom king and prom queen were not elected this year because everyone was too busy cheering on the mathletes. (Hey, wildfires in the Cretaceous won Most Popular. Anything's possible.)

Most Popular


Cutest Couple


Class Clown


Worst Hygiene


Most Talkative


Most Athletic


Class Goth


Most Likely to Attend Culinary School*
*This post was also nominated for Most Disgusting Use of an Innocent French-Toast Photo.


Most Likely to Join AA


Best Mustache 

Thanks for taking a minute to reflect on 2012 with me; I'll see you next year. Have a great summer!


Image credits can be found at their respective posts.

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 6: Zion Canyon


Stories about earth science have all the transformations and power struggles of a fairy tale. When I asked my friend Tyler Auer—a photography blogger who studied geoscience in college—to tell me the story behind a favorite photo, he sent me a tale that’s part Princess and the Pea and part Jurassic Park.

Tyler took this picture at Zion Canyon, one of the many national park areas (including the Grand Canyon) within the 130,000-square-mile formation known as the Colorado Plateau.

“Around the time the dinosaurs roamed the western US, the Colorado plateau was a giant sea of sand dunes,” Tyler says. Over millions of years, these sand dunes kept forming on top of one another and compressing into layered sandstone. You can see the outlines of the ancient dunes, like so many stacked mattresses, in the striations of the canyon walls.

While the sand dunes were turning to rock, they were also being pushed upward by tectonic activity. Cracks formed in the ground like the crust of a bread loaf in the oven. Zion Canyon began as one of these cracks. But “sandstone is really soft, as far as rocks go,” Tyler says, “and running water carves through it quickly.” Rainwater and the flow of the Virgin River gradually deepened this split into a half-mile chasm with almost vertical walls.

Since the Colorado Plateau may be the thickest sandstone layer that’s ever formed, it's provided nature with a deep toolkit. “The Colorado Plateau is magnificent example of the slow but beautiful work nature can do,” Tyler says. You can find more fairy-tale pictures at his blog.


Image: Virgin River Narrows north of Zion Canyon, by Tyler Auer

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 5: Running on Water


Human courtship rituals—if you believe television commercials, anyway—are lame. The guy who kneels down right at the jewelry store counter ("It fits perfectly!" "Well honey, that's because I already had it sized") has nothing on birds who walk on water for each other.

Grebes are diving waterbirds that live in the Americas and Eurasia. To pair off, they follow an elaborate courtship choreography that includes trading bits of food and mimicking each other's motions. In the ritual's conclusion, both birds suddenly haul their ungainly bodies out of the water and run together on its surface. The grace of the birds and the physics of the maneuver both seem impossible.

You can see a pair of Clark's grebes do their courtship dance in this incredible video from the BBC. Jewelry companies, take note: there's no prelude to romance quite like swallowing a live fish.


Image: screen grab from BBC Life: Birds: Partners for Life

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 4: Help Desk


When you use website analytics, you quickly learn that there are a lot of people out there Googling things like "how do i make robot" and "which is best medicine for make baby." This year I've seen many visitors whose search queries were probably not answered here. To make things up to them, I'll try to address a few of those questions now.

orangutan stop following me
Unless you live in Borneo or Sumatra and spend a lot of time in rainforest trees, it's very unlikely that you're being followed by an orangutan. Are you sure it isn't a very hairy human or a large orange dog? If an orangutan is, in fact, following you, don't worry—they mostly eat plants.

can you use ab toning belt on butt for bigger muscles
Ab toning belts will not make your muscles stronger (they only stimulate the surface of the muscle) or more toned (because the contractions are involuntary). But if you're really attached to the idea, don't bother strapping the belt around your rear: they sell toning shorts too.

what pills can make a man's hair fall out in clumps
I don't know the answer to that but it sounds like you're working on a super hilarious prank.

toilet training pigeon
Here's a website with some advice on potty-training pet birds. Consistency is key! But if I had a pigeon I'd skip the toilet training and teach it to carry messages, or to find its home from hundreds of miles away. Or to take pictures, like those cool pigeons in World War I.


is science harmful or useful
Did you not just see that pigeon with a camera strapped its chest?

giant barbies on the loose
Please send a picture so I can better assess the problem. Maybe you and the person with the orangutan problem should coordinate.

that story about the monkeys in the room
Your faith in organic search is touching. I don't know what you're looking for, but here's a story about rhesus macaques raised by water bottles instead of mothers.

if you swap brains will you still have the knowledge inside?
Even if this question is only research for a science-fiction story, I really think you should reconsider.

unnecessary otter

sex robot sperm go?
Since you clearly know search terms don't have to be in the form of a coherent sentence, I'm confused about why you think they still need a question mark at the end. On the off-chance you're wondering what the similarities are between a sperm cell and a Roomba, here are some.

why is sperm brown
Wow, please see a doctor. Why are all the sperm people coming here?

i have to pee
No one is stopping you. 

what company makes placebo
Okay, I quit.



Images: Help desk by Aryc Ogre; war pigeon via Wikimedia Commons 

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 3: Reverse Sun


"Astronomy! People go crazy studying that!" a Christmas tree farmer said this week after asking my younger sister her college major. He made a head-exploding gesture to illustrate his point.

That farmer might have been distressed by this image. Despite its similarity to sperm tackling an egg, it's really a color-inverted picture of our sun. The background is a field of stars, also with its colors reversed.

Turning the colors around lets us see features on the sun's surface we might not otherwise. The little bumps and crinkles are called granules; they're where hot gas is rising to the outside of the sun before cooling and sinking again. According to a textbook of my sister's, these bumps are "typically the size of Texas."

The image comes from NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day, which provides new head-explosions every 24 hours.


Image: Jim Lafferty

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 2: Upside-Down Jelly


Cassiopea jellyfish spend much of their adult lives lying on their backs. Or maybe their heads. However you look at it, they're upside-down: they rest in warm, shallow waters, holding their branching arms up toward the sun. Inside those tentacles are single-celled algae, which photosynthesize and provide food for their jelly farmers.

Cassiopeia, the jellyfish's differently spelled namesake, was a queen in Greek mythology. After bragging that she was even more beautiful than sea nymphs called the Nereiads, the queen was punished by having her constellation placed where it sometimes appears upside-down as it rotates in the sky.

The jellyfish are passive but have a mild sting. Some crabs hoist Cassiopea jellyfish onto their backs for self-protection, carrying them around gardens and all.



Image: Cassiopea jellyfish at Shedd Aquarium, taken by me. If you like seeing bizarre animals up close (or adults with their faces pressed up to glass like kids), go see this exhibit.

12 Days of Inkfish, Day 1: Gifts



Consider this a big, many-tentacled squeeze from me to you.

This year, I've expanded into new habitats, learned new tricks (like driving the Shambulance), and seen lots of new readers swimming by. I'm grateful to every person who visits and shares these pages. You've given me a reason to learn about wine-making wasps and anti-placebos, to taste no-calorie noodles and verbally abuse sheep. Say hello in the comments!

For each of the 12 days of Christmas I'll be leaving a little something here to unwrap. The first is a video of an octopus receiving a live crab in a jar. After menacing the crustacean briefly, it unscrews the jar's lid and squeezes its whole body inside to devour its prey. Talk about a stocking stuffer.



Video from CBCtv.